


Premium Membership.

by orphan_account



Category: Devilman (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Porn, Bad Flirting, Don't Judge Me, Everyone Is Alive, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Implied Relationships, M/M, Porn With Plot, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-20 19:36:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13724553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: In which Akira has a not-so-innocent crush on the new neighbour.





	1. any horny boys

**Author's Note:**

> this is questionable at best and i wrote it in like . Half an hour okay thanks for tuning in

Akira _really_ needs to revoke his own Pornhub premium membership.

He's been sitting here for roughly two hours, using up more than enough lotion and tissues with one hand and scrolling with the other, trying to find the next thirty minute video to stroke his tired dick to.

He's really lucky to not have roommates (though he does wonder how much his friends notice the poorly hidden mess when they come over).

He tries not to think of Wamu and Miki as he scrolls down to the suggested section, thumbnails full of platinum blonde hair in various states of mussed up.  
He can't believe he's developed a crush on a pornstar, to the point where he's paying 10.99$ a month to watch as many of his videos in high quality. It's sad, really. He distinctly remembers Wamu's laughter while going through his search history, dozens of links with the name " **Assuka"** attached.

Akira's done his research, too. Apparently the blond's name is Ryo Asuka, and suddenly the wordplay in his stage name makes more sense. He's two years younger than him at twenty-two. He owns a ragdoll cat and posts his food a lot more than his face on Instagram.

He doesn't know when this started but he doesn't hesitate on clicking any questionable video title anymore. This one in particular is pretty vanilla compared to the things he's seen Ryo do; he's in a library, thick hipster glasses perched high on the bridge of his nose, his hair in immaculate place and the collar of his school uniform buttoned up completely. He's tutoring someone much larger than him, playing the role of a timid geek.

The man next to him puts his hand on Ryo's thigh and Akira has to pause to stop himself from coming undone to the sound of a soft gasp. He swears up and down that he could go all day on the stimulation of the blond's voice and face alone. Before he knows it the pair is at the back of the library getting undressed, the man's nose poking into the pale skin of Ryo's cheeks before pressing his tongue in. The blond's face is delectable, a light wash of red with his teeth gritted to keep noises from coming out (it's of almost no help).

When he gets up and pulls down the zipper of his pants, Ryo is already chanting pleas. Akira inhaled deeply and stiffened in place, on edge. The edge only gets closer when he presses in.

The video goes on like that for five or so minutes, positions slightly changing and the absence of clothes getting greater. Akira has to stop himself a few times before letting himself go, and really, he shouldn't be as excited as he is to see Ryo pull back and get on his knees. Upon further inspection he sees that the glasses previously mentioned are now crooked and foggy and _all over the place_ , matching his hair that stuck up in every single direction. It's a good look, Akira thinks as he sees a fist spread out in those pretty locks and force him closer to a beet red cock.

He manages to wait it out until there's white drizzling over a pink tongue and black-rimmed glasses, riding out his orgasm to the sight of Ryo wrapping his tongue around a spent dick.

After a beat of silence he looks down to check the time.

2:43.

_**Fuck.** _

He's late for work.

_**Again.** _

 

* * *

 

Miko is not as forgiving as Miki is when it comes to late shifts, and really, he should know better than to keep doing this.

Still, here he is, storming inside the local shop to a _very_ displeased redhead. She has a smile stretched across her face for the customer's sake, though her furrowed brows tell a completely different story. It reminds him of that one episode of How I Met Your Mother.

" _Where_ were you?" Miko asks, withheld anger seeping through.

Akira wishes he could answer that truthfully.

"Had an... emergency." Is all he can offer, trying to brush the topic off because he's a shit liar, all in all. His friend huffs in return, pent up anger releasing as the last customer left with her bags.

"I just had a woman come in here _screaming_ about a three dollar toy not working, asking to see the manager. Do _not_ mention emergencies around me." Miko says, stretching her shoulders and moving away from the counter. Akira offers a welcome pat on the back, silently telling her to go rest up home.

She sighs before her whole body slags in place. "I got a dinner date to prepare now so...Good luck." She starts, feet moving closer to the exit. " _Do not_ be late again, though."

And then she's out as if nothing happened.

 _Well_ , he's got seven hours to burn off.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> u guys must really be horny on main to enjoy this beta mess

Reality television is addicting, Akira has come to realize in the last dull week.

Seeing someone cry over a lost diamond earring is a surreal experience while you're sipping Coke as if its champagne. Still, the buzz of his phone was telling him that his friends were either:

a) worried about his whereabouts

b) wondering if they could steal some Doritos from the shop.

Either way, bringing up the will to take his eyes off the screen proves to be a hurdle he can barely get over. Akira sighs, raising his remote to pause a heated scene before raising the smaller screen to eye level.

There's 23 messages, all from Miki and Miko. He scrolls quickly past multiple lovey dovey images of nose kisses and hand holding, overwhelmed with a sense of happiness (and also slight salt) for his friends before sending a text back saying "u guys are cute", quickly adding along "i almost feel sick" before setting the device down.

Akira huffs, considering getting some air.

It's like his numb legs were mocking the rest of his body to get up.

 

Should he?

 

He should.

 

So he does.

 

Ten minutes later, when that episode ends.

 

* * *

 

After watching Kim and her brother  _(what's his name again?)_ argue about a feature on her new mobile game, Akira decides to actually get off his ass to get some teriyaki. He grabs his faux leather jacket and fistful of yen before exiting his hobbit hole.

Outside of his  _so very_ luxurious apartment he's met with several boxes of different sizes and states. Some larger ones are marked with words like 'clothes' and 'shoes' and 'kitchen supplies', seemingly orderly and clean, even in the way they're presented -  _others_ look almost beat up, bright blue colored tape placed messily while red question marks and the word 'FRAGILE' almost screamed at you in contrast. Akira scoffs. Someone must've gotten kicked out before they could gather their stuff.

 

The brunette stares for no longer than a beat before turning on his heel. He  **really** needed food in his system before he was forced to deal with a new neighbour.

 

* * *

 

 

Miki would've yelled at him for how he had scoffed down on his food in public if she were there to witness it.

He's lucky that she wasn't.

There's still red paste on the corners of his mouth, even though he's wiped it three times so far. He's pretty sure there's some in the tips of his hair too, god knows how but it wouldn't be a first. Though he guesses the man that served him profited more than enough off his hungry night soul. Akira doesn't doubt that he deserved every penny that his wallet could weep out.

 

By the time he's back the boxes are almost all but gone. The door of apartment next to him is cracked open, too, so he assumes the neighbour must be here, or they just have shit luck and are already getting robbed (knowing the neighbourhood, it wasn't too unrealistic). The brunette ponders on offering a hand to carry the last stack of clothing before deciding that the tradition of making bad cookies probably made him seem better.

Before he knows it, he's in his apartment again, the distinct smell of 'I really need to cook something other than ramen for once' oozing through the air. He inhales a wiff of it, forcing himself to see it as  _pleasant._

Akira lays back on his spent couch, stretching and popping his neck as he checks the news to see if another world threat has come up in the last two hours, indifferent to the fact that there wasn't.

Maybe he should nap (can sleeping at 11 PM be counted as a  _nap?_ ).

The brunette leans back into the orange hued cushion and exhales a breath of oxygen, letting the stress of the last few unproductive days leave him like an evil spirit.

 

And then he hears clawing. On his front door.

 

He  _might've_ jumped a little at the idea that the evil spirit wanted to come back. It's only when he hears a soft  _"meow,"_ that he relaxes in place, getting up and onto two tired feet and opening the nearby door being assaulted by unknown claws.

He finds something a lot cuter than he was originally expecting.

 

**_A cat._ **


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no one asked but heres chapter three of horny misadventures of akira fudo

There's three things everyone knows about Akira that are just facts.

 

  1. He's nice to _anyone_. He doesn't need a reason or to know that person in particular, he just  _is._ Miko calls him naive and Wamu teases that he's as soft as a marshmallow (and both aren't too far from the truth) but he doesn't mind.
  2. He eats... _ **a lot.**_ The gang at some point mutually agreed that Akira would have a restricted portion of snacks before they cut him off completely. He can and  _will_ eat anything that is presented before his eyes. Miki has locks on all her kitchen cabinets. The eyeliner doesn't help when everyone starts calling him a raccoon.
  3. He  ** _loves_** animals. So when a fluffy cat comes clawing at his door, naturally he adopts it instantly.



It's his now, Akira decides as he spoon feeds it milk in the middle of his living room.

"Where's your owner?" He mumbled absent mindedly, staring directly at the soft pink nose. The feline looks well kept and his paws appear clean, so he couldn't have possibly come from outside, and yet he doesn't remember any of his neighbours having cats. Come to think of it, he's also pretty sure they're not even allowed in the building itself. Akira finds himself chuckling as he pets the rather solemn cat that's taken a quick liking to him.

"You're lucky you ran into me and not Wataru." Wataru hates everything and all related to cats; granted, Akira can't hold it against him for naturally turning into a turnip whenever one rubs its fur against him. He's glad to be able to witness the little guy purr from a chin scratch without the fear of dying.

Akira has half a mind to genuinely keep him for himself when a bell rings throughout the entirety of his shoe-sized apartment. A sigh emits parted lips before he gets up from his squatting position, assuming the guilty owner is there to pick up their loose feline. The cat is already at the door when he opens it, revealing an... _interesting_ looking woman. Her smile is hard to miss, he'll give her that.

Once his feline friend manages to poke is head through the opening he sees the woman's eyes spark to..the slight extent they could manage. Was she stuck like that? "Amon!" Her voice rings, picking him up as if he were someone else's problem bestowed upon her. "My apologies for letting him get away, I believe I left the door open when I was arranging boxes."

 

It clicks in Akira's brain that that probably meant this was his new neighbour. He had hoped to have met on different circumstances but faith had it's way of playing things out, apparently. "Ah, no it's alright, he was fine. Don't sweat it!"

 

The woman just nods, as if dismissed.

 

Akira blinks as she practically disappears with a polite goodbye. He's not even sure if she noticed his little wave.

 

The door shuts properly this time.

 

Well, then.

 

* * *

 

 

It's 9:40 in the morning so the fact that he's baking _muffins_ he's not even gonna let himself eat is tragic.

 

Granted, they're from a box and take only two ingredients to taste edible but still, this shows the amount of influence his mother had in his politeness.

 

He finds himself missing the cat as he waits for the masterpiece of his culinary career to finish baking. The chocolate scent fills his room with utter despair.

 

When they're done,  _finally,_ Akira is quick to put them on a halfassed platter and let them cool before seeing himself out the door. ~~Maybe he had one along the way but that is irrelevant to this topic, he is a man with needs, Susan -~~

 

He hasn't thought this through enough, Akira realizes when he stands in front of a door having to ring a doorbell with one hand and hold a huge platter with the other (there's a reason catering places wouldn't hire him). The muffins end up all moving to the edge of the platter, and really, they're a mess, but the sound is already ringing and he hasn't a moment to fix it.

 

Before he can even think of what to say, the door is flinging open. He's not sure how, but he's pretty sure the scene before him played out in slow motion, almost like a punch to the face but less shocking.

The door opens and...

 

_Well._

 

_He really wasn't prepared._

 

"Hello?" A light voice echoes back to him questionably.

Akira blinks  _once, **twice**_ before anything leaves his mouth.

"Y-You're -"  _Ryo,_ _Asuka Ryo,_ is what he wants to say, but he has enough common sense to remember that revealing he knows this information probably wouldn't be a good idea. This time, Ryo blinks, as if awaiting for him to finish his sentence.

Instead of that, the brunet straightens in place, trying to push his composure through the blood that was rising to his cheeks. "My new neighbour, right?"

Ryo chuckles.

"I am." He adds back simply, eyes darting quickly to the apartment right next door that still had its door hanging open. Those same eyes are back on him in a flash, as if he already had him figured out completely. "Those for me?"

 

Akira is almost too starstruck to mutter a simple "yeah". It takes him a beat before he says "Thought it'd be nice to greet the new neighbour with something nice."

 

"How thoughtful," Ryo replies, taking the platter and setting on the edge of the coffee table right next to his door. "Could you perhaps be the one who found Amon? My manager told me she lost him for a moment there and that someone kept him company." Akira only nods, scratching the back of his head with a crooked smile, not unlike a middle schooler. Ryo's smile back is a lot more secure, thankful yet sly in a sense. "I thank you for that as well, he doesn't take a liking to many people so I suppose it was faith of sorts."

 

_Faith._

 

Akira liked the sound of that.

 

"I believe cats are banned from this residence, but I had nowhere to go with him." The blond says in a low tone, as if speaking in whispered code. His hand reaches up, placing itself on Akira's stiff shoulder, and really, if there was too much blood in his head before, he was positively overflowing with it now. "I would like to keep this between me and you, if that's okay?" The previously dropped smile comes back. He's glad he's not holding the muffins anymore.

 

Akira nods his head frantically, chanting "No, it's fine, really!", resulting in Ryo dropping his hand and thanking him again.

 

Amon starts to meow like an attention deprived child. The blond's hand goes back to the handle soon enough. "And that's my cue. I hope I'll be seeing you around...?"

 

There's a beat of awkward silence before Akira realizes he hasn't introduced himself.

 

_"Oh, uh. Akira. Akira Fudo."_

"Akira." Ryo solidifies it, as if to remember that specific name. He gestures to himself simply, "Ryo."

 

Akira has the urge to say he knows.

 

But he settles for "I hope I'll be seeing you around, too."

 

And then the gust of wind from the door shutting hits him.

 

_**What the fuck just happened?** _

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey weebs i got some ryos on @ghostlyvague on twitter so -
> 
> yes im plugging my socials ok bye


End file.
